PAC-10 Basketball

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Sports & Food

Posted by naterb on November 10, 2009

It’s perfectly natural.

Food and sports just go together. There’s nothing like sitting down, watching your favorite team and eating a snack that is just as likely to lube an engine as it is to clog your arteries.

It typically doesn’t matter what you’re eating, because chances are if it’s a close game, you’re going to windup with heartburn anyhow, right?

But every once in a while you come across something that shouldn’t ever go with watching sports, and quite frankly you can’t be quite certain was actually food to begin with.

I came across such a dish at lunch today.

I’m a very routine person. I don’t like too much variety or change. Granted, I’m no Odd Thomas so I have more of a wardrobe, but I typically eat the same meal(s) every week at lunch. My selection of choice for the past 7 months or so has been Stouffer’s panini sandwiches.

This past weekend as I’m pushing my 3 year old through the frozen food section I decided I wanted to try something different. Rather than going for a brand I knew or making something at home to bring, I opted for the next closest thing. It happened to be Tai Pei frozen Chinese food.

 Me and Chinese food, we typically get a long. But if Tai Pei is anything, it isn’t two things: 1- food to eat watching sports, 2-Chinese food. First off, there’s no sign of MSG in site, and the chicken clearly looked like chicken instead of my neighbor’s 7 lb. kick me puppy. More importantly, whatever it actually was, it felt more like I was eating one of those giant rubber balls with Superman on it that you get at Wal-Mart for $2.50.

 Once I got past the texture, it was all down-hill from there. I’m convinced that the cardboard box it came in would have tasted more like chicken than the chicken actually did. It comes with what are meant to be bell peppers. But I may as well have been Dan Akroid in Coneheads chewing “bubblegum.”

Now, I suppose some have stronger stomachs than I do, and their taste buds have been singed off from simultaneously eating five habenero peppers after losing a bet they shouldn’t have made. But unless you consider yourself to be a human garbage disposal and have no sense of taste or smell, do the smart thing and eat the left-over liver and onions that have been sitting in the back of your fridge for three months before purchasing anything that is meant to be microwaveable Chinese food.


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